Aiden's Birth Story

Aiden Jeremiah Dalman was born at 11:59 p.m. on May 2nd 2011. Weighing in at 10 lbs. 6 oz. and measuring 22 1/2 inches long with a 37 cm head circumfrence. It makes me sad to know that I wasn't able to hold him on his actual birthday. My pregnancy with Aiden had many diffrent complications and his birth story did as well. At 26 weeks of pregnancy I went into preterm labor and was put on bed rest and medication. I was given steroid shots for his lungs at 32 weeks of pregnancy and admitted to the hospital over night. During my pregnancy with him I was sent to the hospital 4 times before the 5th time of giving birth. I also struggled with high blood pressure and hip problems that required me to sleep in a recliner for half of my pregnancy.

On May 2nd at 9:00 I had an appointment with my doctor to recheck my high blood pressure (I had been sent to the hospital the Tuesday before with high blood pressure and hopes that they would induce me but was sent home.) My blood pressure was high and it rose higher when I laid on my left side. So when my doctor came in she said that I needed to go ahead and be induced; I was already 1 day over my due date and I was 1 cm dilated. So we drove right to the hospital (at this point I was so glad that I got good hugs and kisses from Holland that morning before leaving the house). I was started on pitocin around 11:00 and it got things rolling to much. I was having contractions back to back so they turned the pitocin way down and gave me an epidural. I was then able to relax so my body could dilate. At 8 cm my epidural ran out and let me tell you natural labor is NO fun. I was clinching the bed railings and crying and screaming and just saying please Jesus please. My poor husband didn't know what to do for me. I am thankful for my husband and for the student nurse that was taking care of me for insisting that I get a second epidural. The head nurse didn't agree and was resistent but once I got the second epidural I felt so much better. Not long after that it was time to push. At this point everything was normal- labor had progressed great I only had my husband, doctor and nurse in there with me. With 2 pushes Aiden's head was out and that's where the problem began. My baby's head was soooo big that they couldn't get the rest of him out or push his head back in either. That's when the rush of nurses and doctors flooded the room. I saw the look on my doctor's face and I was terified. She had already suctioned Aiden's nose and mouth out and was asking the nurse how long he'd been stuck without oxygen. At that point it was almost 2 minutes. I was crying, they had pushed Eric out of the way so the nurses could hold me while one nurse jumped on my stomach to help push the baby out of me. Finally my doctor had to reach inside and turn Aiden around so she could pull his giant football shoulders out. And when he came out there was no cry just a lifeless tiny body. They rushed him to the warmer and told us to give them a few minutes. I have no idea how long it was but if felt like an eternity. My nurses were so kind telling me that I'd done everything right and just being so encouraging. And when we finally heard his tiny cry it was the best thing I've heard in my life. He cried a little more and his color started to come back. They finally let me hold him a few minutes later before sending him to the special care nursery to be monitored because of his breathing. I was so thankful to finally be able to hold him but at the same time I wanted them to take him quickly to make sure he was okay. Eric went along with him and I waited for his return. I was left alone and just prayed and cried out to God to just please let Aiden be okay. I was so scared. When my husband finally came back I was so happy to see him and to hear that Aiden was doing wonderful. He was pretty bruised up an had some nerve damage in his right arm but other than that he was fine. He was brought to our room around 3 a.m. and I finally got to cuddle with my son. His arm has done remarkably well and will be checked on in June by a pediatric orthopedist. When we knew everything was going to be alright I looked at my doctor and said "no more vaginal deliveries for me! and she said I second that!" When she came to check on me I told her how thankful we were for her and what she did for us and Aiden and she told us that she was just glad that it ended the way it did.

Aiden is my miracle baby. We spent so much time praying that he wouldn't be born premature at 2 lbs. and was born one day late and 10 lbs! I could not be more thankful to God for hearing our prayers in that delivery room that he would breathe and that he would cry. God is a great God! I am so blessed to be a mommy of 2. Life is definitely much busier with a lot less sleep but it is so worth it. I love my little man. He's so sweet and I think he might just end up being a mama's boy :)

Growing Up

It's hard to believe that in four months my baby girl will be 2 years old. It feels like just yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital. Everyday she learns new things and picks up new words, phrases, or sentences. I have been struggling in teaching her to clean up after herself but then today I asked her to please clean up her kitchen before going to nap and she did! She cleaned up everything and then headed to her bedroom, but she noticed she was still holding a pretend doughnut and quickly ran back to her kitchen and put it away. It's the little things like this that make you feel like all the work of being a parent is definitely worthwhile. And now as I look forward to bringing another child into this world I definitely know that it is hard work but every smile, every hug, every kiss makes up for everything else. The only thing is I have to get used to waking up every hour and a half again!!

When life doesn't go the way you want it to

A lot has changed over the last month. Three weeks ago I told Eric that something was wrong- I just wasn't feeling right. The next morning I knew that I was having contractions. I called Eric who was on a field trip to the Durham public library (with no vehicle) and told him my doctor wanted me to come in right away. The bus driver drove him back to school and he was on the way to get me. I called my mother in law and she came right over. Then to the doctor's office. I kept hoping that they would say you're fine you're imagining it. Unfortunately she didn't say what I wanted to hear and I was off to the hospital for monitoring. I was in fact headed into preterm labor. I had not dilated but my cervix was thinning out. They ran tests, gave me a shot (that made me go crazy) to stop the contractions. After being there close to 8 hours they discharged me with meds to keep me from going back into labor and orders to pretty much do nothing. So many thoughts were running through my head when they sent me to the hospital. My first thoughts were that this experience is much scarier than my cancer scare almost 4 years ago. I mean while that was truly scary and very hard to go through- as a mother this was worse. With this I am talking about my child who's not yet ready to enter the world and all the worries that goes along with that. After being in the hospital I was so ready to be home and glad that I was able to go.

Before now I had read lots on preterm labor and birth. But I had misconceptions of how it really is, and I don't know that you can truly understand it until you are going through it. I thought okay great they gave me a shot and medicine everything can go back to normal- NOPE. That is not how it works. And maybe it does for some women I have heard where the contractions will stop and don't come back. But not for me. Every day since I was in the hospital I have contractions. It's not just one or two either. Sometimes I have 3-4 in an hour other times only 1. Every time I have a contraction I think okay I need to count because if I have between 4-6 in a hour it's back to the hospital I go.

The hardest thing for me in all of this is feeling helpless. Everything is out of my control. I know that me and Aiden are in God's hands, but it is hard to trust when you can't see the whole picture. It is very hard to sit by and watch my husband do everything for me- the laundry, cleaning, making meals, taking care of Holland, getting things ready for Aiden. I want so much to jump in and do things but when I do my body lets me know that I shouldn't have tried at all. I experience lots of what I like to call "mommy guilt". When I can't get on the floor and play with Holland or lift her to her changing table or highchair and she's confused. But I also know that by not doing these things I'm also taking care of the baby inside of me.

Through this experience I have felt so blessed. I am so blessed to have a husband who after working all day will come home and clean and take care of everything because I can't. I'm blessed to have a good mother in law that comes during the week to help out and take a load off and family and friends. I am also blessed to have a wonderful church family who has brought meals and has prayed and loved on us during this time. My husband encouraged me to write through this so I can maybe get some healing through it. So we will see if it helps!

A Nap is a Beautiful Thing!

Holland has been completely off of her schedule lately. This past weekend she didn't take a single nap, went to bed later and woke up around 6ish. When she doesn't have her nap she gets so grumpy and just isn't herself. Well this morning she was up early as well. I was thankful to have my hubby home this morning to help with her. After he left she was still SO sleepy so we watched some t.v. I knew it was nap time when she was leaning against my foot (that was propped up) and started slobbering on it! She took a nap though she didn't want to she threw everything out of her crib and fell asleep about 45 minutes after being put in there. But hey she took a nap! And she's much happier and so am I. Hopefully this means she'll get back on a routine we shall see!

There's a first time for everything.

Well here I am writing a blog. Not too sure how good I will be at this, but I will give it a try. It was really my husband's idea for both of to "blog" so I guess I'll see how his goes as well :) The statement "There's a first time for everything" is true in so many aspects of my life. First car, first home, first year of marriage. First baby and along with a baby came a lot of firsts! First diaper change (that Eric changed gracefully so), first car ride, first set of shots, first tooth, first steps. Holland has had so many firsts and I know that Aiden will have so many as well. I look forward to being there for each of them cheering them on. I hope to share many "Mommy Moments" well as many as time will allow; it's busy being a stay at home mom!